Capoeira (Turning Life Upside-Down)

I'm afraid of being upside-down. Who knew?

Should have been obvious from the abject attitude towards all things roller coasters.. Yet, I'll climb to the tallest tree in the country-side on a whim.

Yesterday was my first day of Capoeira teacher training, and I'm being to believe it will teach me a lot more about myself and my capabilities--and limits--than about teaching students. And it will teach me a lot about how to guide students in the future, that's for sure.

Part of the structure of Teacher Training is making sure that all of us Potential Teachers have a 4-5/5 on all of the most frequently made moves. Backflips are not exactly on the top ten topics for beginner classes, after all...

There are a good many moves that I need to work on, and I have no illusion about that fact. One especially that I have Always had difficulty maintaining and perfecting is a Bananeira, or handstand. When I modeled it for the class (we had to have a baseline from which to improve), I was given a 3--and made it a 2, because I am not quite as confident in my ability to do a standard handstand.

For practice, my mestre suggested I practice against the wall. Now, every single person I have ever told about my ability to do a handstand--my yoga teachers, capoeira teachers, roommates-- have always suggested I use the wall. "You can't fall any farther than the wall", they say.

I may have a fear more founded on Roald Dahl and The Twits than anything else.

Once I got my heels over my heart (this phrasing is significant) I started to yell. Not on purpose, but out of fear. Of all the martial arts and activities I could have chosen, why would I become involved in the one that centered around being upside all the time? Why would I do such a thing to myself?

I came down, wiped away some laughter-tears, and tried again; this time as a head stand. I promised myself I could be afraid, but I had to do it without making a sound. I made it up there for a few moments, and found a beginning to grounding and clarity.

This experience of Capoeira is similar to my soon-to-be experience in the Peace Corps. It is something unique and unlike I have ever done in my life, but not something just anyone would do. Very few people would argue that going to the Peace Corps is anything but turning my life upside-down.

When I go to the Peace Corps, I will be putting my heels over my heart. Despite that there are people in my life that I love, family that I appreciate every moment even when I don't tell them, and a life that I am settled into, I am preparing to turn my life upside-down. It will not be easy; it will not come without a lot of work and dedication.

Sometime in the nearby future, I'll be able to do that perfect handstand, with control, and I'll be able to keep my heels over my heart without feeling out of sorts. It's a process.

For more information about Capoeira, here is a link to my group:

http://www.cap-denver.com/index_2.php